Since marriage is a life long, irreversible relationship, the stage of securing the consent of the would – be partner known as proposal is very important.

Marital relationship should not be based on assumption, it has to be definite; the other partner should give his/her consent to it.

Should I inform my pastor before proposing to a sister, should I tell the sister’s pastor before sharing my perceptions with her, should I tell my pastor about the brother that proposed marriage to me, should I make it personal? These and lot more are questions flowing in the heart of the singles.

This week, we pray that the eyes of our understanding will be enlightened.


Name: JOY
Opinion: If my husband to be informs his pastor or any spiritual head before progressing to propose to me. I think it makes me feel safe because for him to have carried them along it means he is serious. Although I wouldn’t know at his first coming but after I might have accepted his proposal we will definitely talk about it.
Anyways, the most important thing is our convictions, we need to be sure before taking any step.

Opinion: I would inform my mentor but I might not inform my church pastor. Because of the level of our closeness. Actually, it’s good to inform elders about things like this but we would not be able to carry them along in issues like this if we have not being talking with them on other issues of life. The boldness to talk about marriage will not be there.

In the light of the scriptures

When you are sincere with yourself and convinced that it is God who is leading you to a particular sister, it is important that you should inform your spiritual head before progressing to propose.

We are not doubting God in you, neither are we saying it is your spiritual head that has the final say; but it is ethical and scriptural that you tell him/her before meeting the sister.
In Genesis 24, it was shown to us that Abraham’s servant did not discuss marriage with Rebecca, the elders was the first person he spoke with, this illustration depicts to us as Christians that it is essential to seek the consent of our spiritual head, especially in matters as this.

However, the place of personal convictions, which boils down to the strength of your intimacy with God is very important.

Informing the lady’s spiritual head might not be applicable to everyone, but your spiritual head as a brother should be carried along, this reflects your level of responsibility and accountability.

It is also a symbol of submissiveness when you as a sister inform people you are trusting God in their lives before accepting a brothers proposal.

Informing God-filled people about your plans for proposing or accepting a proposal will not only guide us against taking the wrong step before proposing but will as well create the consciousness of godliness in us even after the proposal might have been received.

The issues around marriage proposal continues in the next edition, don’t miss it!

It is our utmost desire that the Lord uphold and influence your choice of marriage partner, as earlier discussed. (Amen)
God bless you!